Feeling Great!

I am proud of myself, and I'm not saying that lightly.  I hate to say it but I tend to give up on things.  Regularly.  Fitness and eating right is right there at the top of the things that I never took seriously enough to stay committed to. 

The last few days I have not skipped a workout and I have not eaten McDonalds, BK, etc.  I did, though, have a Coke, but it was not finished.  I figure I can't give everything up at once, but I am really limiting my soft drink exposure.  I have committed to no longer buying it and keeping it in the house.   I have been replacing my Coke cravings with either ice cold water or Crystal Light.

Today I ran a mile on the treadmill, did Chalean Extreme's Burn It Up and Recharge.  Physically, I'm feeling really good!  But, as I type this I have a migraine trying to set in (wonder if it has anything to do with Band of Brother's that my son is watching.  All I hear is yelling and gunshots... non stop.... can't wait to get my laptop fixed so I can hide in my bedroom!).

I have been off of work for two weeks now.  I have loved every minute of it, being able to get my kids ready and off to school and be there to get them off the bus.  The only stress regarding my current situation is the financial aspect.  I am no longer working, so I am relying on the child support to get by from day to day.  It is a struggle, especially when my older kids think they need to go all over town, have spending money and eat everything the day I buy it.  I know there is going to be a learning curve for all of us.  I start my classes on October 4th, so I'm sure I'll feel better about not working (I stopped working to go to school full time).  I just need to stay true to myself and to my family and remember my priorities and NOT get sucked into the feeling of inadequacy of not being good enough to support my family.  Being unemployed is just temporary and I will soon have my degree in Business Management. 

My birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I'll be 35.  This really made me sit back and think about my life.  Where I've been, where I am and where I'm going.  I had to face some ugly truths about myself.

Where I have been:
I realized that I have always put my own happiness in the hands of others.  Married @ 19 with a baby.  Divorced @ 22 with 2 kids.  Married again @ 26, moved out of state with my two kids and created a new life with my new husband.  Divorced @32.  3 kids later, 5 kids total - unhappy.  I was never one, from high school onward, to be too long without a boyfriend.  I always thought that being in a relationship would bring me the happiness I didn't realize I was "searching" for.

Where I am:
In all of my unhappiness over the last several years, I have found myself very overweight.  I never saw myself being 34, divorced x2, raising 5 kids alone on a limited income, no college degree and living in a dump of a duplex hundreds of miles away from my "lifeline"... friends and family.    Yes, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself and don't like my situation.  I have not been in a relationship since my divorce in 2008.  Now is the time for me to get my dreams realized!  Time for serious soul searching!  I am going back to school full time so I can get my degree that much sooner.  I am doing something to lose this weight and get healthy.  I know that a man can not be the reason for my happiness.  I have to love me before I can love anyone else and before anyone else can love me.

In addition to just losing weight, I am turning that into my business of helping others lose weight and get fit.  I owe this to Beachbody.  This is going to be my chance to turn my life around, in all aspects, and get it on the track I want it to be on, instead of being a victim of "the wrong path".

By the time I'm 40 (that really sounds scary to me now!) I am going to have a college degree.  I will be the most fit I have ever been.  I am going to have a successful Beachbody business and I am going to be working MY OWN NON PROFIT!  Who knows, maybe I'll incorporate Beachbody into that business! :)

Here's to bigger and better things my friends!!!

Accountability Time

Ok, time for me to be accountable. I have not been doing well with my nutrition. My last week or two of work I ate out almost daily for lunch. And breakfast. And typically dinner too. I have gained weight, even though I have been working out. I am starting new with my tracking. New "before" pictures taken. I even took a picture of me on my scale!   I did take my measurements.  I don't know how accurate they are, but it is at least a start. 

It is time for me to FULLY practice what I preach!

I am going to continue working with ChaLEAN Extreme.  I took some time off because my house had the tummy flu, but I am in full swing now. 

New pictures will be posted once I can find the connection cord for my camera.  For some reason I can't get them off my camera with the share button! (darn thing). 

Day 11 of Chalean Extreme

Today is Burn Intervals and Ab Burner, but I am really having a tough time today completing these today.  I missed a bunch of the Burn Intervals and didn't even attempt the Ab Burner.  I noticed that when I started to get out of breath I got light headed and sick to my tummy, so I only did what I could.  During some of the weight lifting it helped if I sat down to get through them.  I do plan on attempting more later today.

I am off to make myself some breakfast now.  My kids are trying to talk me into taking them to Denny's for breakfast.  I know that I don't have the willpower to stay away from the greasy food and order something healthy.  I stuck to my guns and said no!  I am going to make myself a yummy Chocolate Shakeology shake instead.  Lord knows I need it after the pizza rolls I ate last night and the pizza the night before.

Speaking of food.....

I think that I would be able to complete the workouts better and lose weight faster if I could get my  eating habits under control.  I get too lazy a lot of times to actually make dinner (lunch/breakfast) and end up ordering delivery or hitting a drive thru.  I know that this is something that I need to work on, but during times of high stress all of my rational thinking goes out the window!  I also need to stop drinking my calories.  If I could stop drinking Coke I bet I would lose 10 immediately!

Now that I am not working I am hoping that I will really be able to do some serious soul searching, figure out my priorities and really make things start to happen for me.    One thing I know about me is that I give up way too easily if/when things start to get hard.  I just recently realized this, and that day was quite emotional for me, knowing that I'm a quitter.  Not just with working out and eating right, but with other aspects of my life as well.

My eyes are opening wide and I plan on doing what I need to do to make me back into the person I used to be and want to be again!

Day 6 of ChaLEAN Extreme

I survived almost a FULL WEEK of ChaLEAN Extreme!  Despite my excitement and determination to get fit, every time I started this program I would stop after day 3 or 4.  Then I'd start back up at day 1 and go through that process a few more times.  I gotta say, it feels great to truly be 100% comitted to my health now.  Tomorrow is a rest day, so that means no dvd for me.  I am still going to do a form of cardio tomorrow, whether it is going for a walk, jog or a Yoga Booty Ballet dvd.

There were two programs in today's session.  Burn It Off and Recharge.  Burn It Off was tough.  TONS of cardio and included pylometrics (which at this point I am awful at!!).  It was brutal but I did it.  I did have to go at my own pace, which was very rarely at the pace of Chalene or her crew, but it is a starting point.  For the next three weeks I will be doing the same routine and it will be nice to see how/if things change for me.   I am not sure what all is involved with Yoga, but I'm pretty sure that Recharge is along the same lines of exercise.  It was nice... no weights, no cardio, just breathing and stretching.  I really think that this would be a great video to do every morning when I wake up. 

I noticed that on the same dvd as Burn It Off and Recharge, there is a bonus workout - Fat Blaster Workout.  I didn't do it, but I watched it and it is a portion of the Turbo Jam fitness.  It is high intensity cardio and looks like a lot of fun. 

Here's to tomorrow....... !